The Crash
by charlibear13
Summary: What if Connie hadn't let Cal treat Ethan would Ethan remain calm. Cal is there when his brother is panicking and helps calm him down will that be enough or will Ethan get his way...
1. Chapter 1

**The Crash**

**OMG last night's episode was something else. I'm still carrying on with my other story but this one shot wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. This is my version of last night's episode sadly I don't own Casualty or their characters. Hope you enjoy xx**

Cal waited for the ambulance alongside Connie who was going to treat him, Cal wasn't happy with not being able to treat him but he understood that as he was family he'd have to sit this one out.

The ambulance arrived and Tamzin got out and started reeling of his injuries Cal winced as he had a good view of his brother he could see the fear radiating of him and he wanted nothing more than to comfort him but he had had his orders to observe but not get in the way and he knew the important thing now, was to get Ethan treated. Connie started talking to Ethan and Cal heard him call out for him and Connie took the hand that Ethan was waving about she spoke to him "Cal is right here Ethan we're going to get your stable then he can see you ok" Ethan shook his head and tears of pain and frustration poured down his face he struggled to make himself understood he stuttered "iiii nnneeed Cal".

Cal hearing this moved forward but was stopped by Connie "Cal you need to let us stabilize him ok" Ethan heard Cal talking to Connie and struggled further against the hands restraining him, he tried to move to see Cal and Connie held firm "Ethan you have to remain still until we've done some tests please stop moving" Cal could see Ethan start to panic and once he was on the bed in ED he spoke to Connie "Connie he is scared and he's panicking I need to just let him know I'm here calm him down a little you're not going to be able to treat him like this" Connie shook her head and sighed "letting you see him now would probably get him more worked up and I need to get to work on him straight away" Cal went to answer but his attention was taken when Ethan started to wildly swing his arms pulling at the hands trying to treat him Cal couldn't take it anymore and took a few breaths to calm himself, Ethan needed him to be calm he could fall apart later, he pointedly looked at Connie before replying "I'm doing this he needs me, you can treat him but you have to let me calm him down".

Connie seeing Ethan fighting and knowing that it was wasting valuable time and causing Ethan pain reluctantly nodded and Cal moved fast Connie was at first surprised at the calm and reassuring tone Cal used under the circumstances. "Ethan can you hear me I'm right here" Cal stepped into Ethan's line of sight and spoke directly to him as he could see Ethan was in the midst of a panic attack and he wasn't focusing "Ethan look at me you need to stop fighting them their going to help you but you have to stop fighting them" the voice calmed Ethan enough for him to focus on Cal's face and his hands stopped pulling at the hands and the oxygen mask instead they searched the air for Cal's hands and Cal grabbed it and smiled "you need to relax and keep that mask on we don't need your stats dropping anymore ok, I'm right here I'm not going anywhere but you need to let them treat you ok" Ethan shook his head and kept repeating Cal's name, Cal leant closer to him "Ethan you got to stop trying to speak you need to keep your strength ok" Ethan shook his head and began to panic not being able to communicate what he wanted he tightened his grip on Cal's hand and tugged bringing Cal closer to him he whispered with all he had "I want you to treat me, please Cal it hurts, you have to help me" Connie who had been standing beside Cal when this was said, sighed before addressing Ethan "Ethan he can't treat you he's your brother, you need to let us treat you if it makes you feel better Cal can stay with you but, he can't treat you" Ethan continuously shook his head and again began to panic trying to lift his other arm and hang on to as much as Cal as he could.

Cal sighed and turned to Connie "how about I treat you observe, he must be in a lot of pain for him to be acting like this and he isn't going to let you treat him, we need to treat before his stats drop any further you can advise and observe and Ethan will be calmer" Connie thought this over and watched as Cal gently wiped tears from Ethan's face he smiled and tried to calm Ethan down Ethan focused solely on Cal's face calming and she noticed that as Cal was talking to him Ethan was calming his own breathing down to match that of Cal's. She made a quick decision and spoke "ok we need to get him treated and I think Cal's right this will be the quickest way without sedating Ethan and that's not something I want to do"

Cal leant down "You hear that Ethan, you got the best working on you today kiddo, but you're going to need to let go of my hands so I can get your stabilized ok?" Ethan relaxed his hold and smiled a small smile but couldn't help the tear that rolled down his cheek" Cal got to work and his colleagues watched him some with Awe at how calm he seemed even though his eyes told a different story others watched him with pity. All marveled at how gentle he was.

Twenty minutes later and Cal had his stats up and had a arranged a CT he leant down and whispered to Ethan "hang in there ok, I got to go finish off with a patient whilst you got for a scan will you be ok?" Ethan blinked and gave a small nod. Cal smiled "you'll be fine Ethan, just try to stay calm ok".

Cal had just finished with his patient when he saw the team rushing Ethan back to the recuss room he run to catch up asking what had happened on the way. Connie advised on what was happening and explained what they needed to do she saw the look on Cal's face and slight tremble of his hands and asked "Cal you're going to need to do this will you be ok?" Cal took a few calming breaths and nodded and got to work. He was relieved 10 minutes later when Ethan was Stable and able to be moved he left the room but turned and looked at his now unconscious brother and leant against the glass, seeing him do this and the rest of the team stopped everything assuming the worst when he turned to them they ignored the tears that were in his eyes Robyn asking him if Ethan was ok, Cal smiled pulling himself together "he'll be ok he just needs to rest their taking him upstairs now" the team all smiled and offered comforting words to Cal.

When Cal had 15 minutes to spare he went up to see Ethan and sat by him taking his hand he began to talk to him "Come on Ethan open those eyes, wake up and tell me how badly I did treating you" when he got no reply he sat down and rubbed small circles on the back of Ethan's hand with his thumb, "I love you Ethan your all I have now, I can't lose you, you have to pull through this. Cal finally let the tears fall and wiped them off his face as they fell with his free hand. He felt a light squeeze on his hand and saw Ethan's eyelids flicker he sat up and Ethan looked at him focusing on him he reached up to pull off the oxygen mask and Cal gently stopped him "Hey kiddo, you need to leave that on you've had a lot of trauma to your chest and that is making it easier for you to breath ok" Ethan nodded but pulled it off and spoke "Thankyou, for being here and I love you too, can you stay tonight?" Cal nodded before speaking "I have to finish shift their still receiving the casualties from the crash site ok but when my shift ends I'll be here" Ethan nodded adding "are they all alive?" Cal sat back down to answer him "Lilly has got a few injuries but is ok and stable, Connie and Tess are walking wounded, Ash is still at the crash site they need to cut him out, I believe he has a bad wound to the leg other than that I couldn't tell you anymore until we have him here" Cal stopped talking and looked at Ethan who had begun to cry "Ethan are you ok, are you in pain?" Ethan shook his head and took the mask off again "I was driving it was my fault".

Cal took a deep breath and gently wiped the tears away before replacing the mask back over Ethan's face and speaking to him "Ethan listen to me, the car was side swiped there was nothing you could have done you just need to concentrate on getting better, I promise you no one blames you, not at all".

Ethan nodded and Cal sat there until he fell back to sleep before straightening him up and leaving him to finish the shift.

As Cal walked down the stairs it hit him exactly how close he had come to losing his little brother and sat down on the steps taking deep breaths and let a few tears fall. He vowed that he would be there for Ethan through this and that he would help him in any way he needed. Cal stood up when Lofty stood in front of him and asked if he was ok Cal nodded and followed.

After shift that night Cal sat in Ethan room catching a little sleep here and there, keeping watch over his little brother and watching for signs that something was wrong. Ethan's body recovering from the trauma of the day kept the younger man asleep and for this Cal was thankful he had no idea how he was going to tell him about Jeff, but he knew that whatever came next they would face it as brothers.

**This kept bugging me today so had to write it, I thought the scenes last night were amazing but I wanted a little more brotherly love. Hope you enjoyed please R&R**

**And as there are very little Ethan & Cal fics out there if you have any ideas you would like me to work on please let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2 - aftershock

**Ok so this was only going to be a one shot but it won't leave me alone haha. Thanks for your reviews everyone and I'm really enjoying writing for you. xx**

**Chapter 2**

Cal had spent the night in a chair by the side of Ethan's bed and sometime in the night had fallen asleep when he woke up it was to the beeping of Ethan's drip signaling it was empty he stood up and silenced the machine not wanting it to wake Ethan whilst on his feet he checked Ethan's vitals and was glad to see he was breathing a lot easier and his colour looked a lot better he turned and put his finger to his lips when a nurse came in carrying a saline drip bad he motioned to the sleeping Ethan and she handed the bag to Cal who hooked it up to Ethan's drip.

Cal hadn't gone back to sleep after the change of drip he checked and rechecked Ethan's stats and when the nurse came in to do their checks he told them that Ethan had a slight fever and for them to note it in his file they nodded and placed a comforting hand on his arm before they left.

It was two hours later when Ethan began to wake up and Cal sat down on his chair and waited not wanting to panic Ethan and let him wake up on his own, however when Ethan's eyes fully opened he saw the panic in them and stood up in Ethan's line of sight and Ethan's eyes settled on him and his breathing calmed Cal smiled "how you feeling?" Ethan coughed clearing his throat and Cal helped him sip some water before he answered "like I was hit by a truck" Cal laughed "wow that accident knocked a sense of humor into you Eth" Ethan smiled and looked at Cal "Did you stay here all night?" Cal nodded stretching his back and neck "well you did ask me too besides wanted to make sure you didn't ruin the hard work I did on you yesterday" Ethan smiled his thanks and grabbed his hand squeezing it tight.

Cal Squeezed it back before sighing he sat on the edge of the bed and Ethan sat up as much as his healing body would allow Cal smiled sadly and started to speak "Ethan I have some bad news, now I want you to try and remain calm ok" Ethan nodded eyes like saucers, cheeks flushed from the slight fever and Cal continued "at the accident site yesterday there was an explosion, nobody expected it and thankfully most were away from the car when it happened, Ash had just got free but I'm afraid Jeff didn't get out in time there nothing anybody could do" Ethan began shaking his head and grabbed Cal's hands tighter before talking "please Cal tell me it's not true, not Jeff he got us all out he was so good" his eyes filled with tears and he dropped his head on to Cal's shoulder and began to sob. Cal put his arms around him frowning at the heat radiating from him and knowing that although his sensitive brother was feeling the loss of his friend the fever also had a lot to do with it. They stayed that way for a while with Cal holding him as he cried and spoke gently to him "he died doing what he loved Eth, he would have been glad he got you all out" after about 10 minutes Ethan pulled back quickly looking ashen in the face and Cal reading the signs reached to get a bowl from the side cupboard and shoved it under Ethan's face just as he vomited Cal rubbed Ethan's back and Ethan looked up before saying "Cal I don't feel so good".

Cal cleaned Ethan up and got him settled back in the bed before telling Ethan that he was going to get the ward Doctor to come check him over. Ethan feeling tired just nodded adding "will you come back" Cal nodded "I'll be back just stay in bed until I do ok".

The Doctor had been and with Cal's help agreed that Ethan's fever had spiked and that he needed medication to help keep hi temperature down, Ethan groggily allowed them to inject him and focused on Cal as he drifted off to sleep with tears in his eyes, Cal heard him say miserably before he fell into a deep sleep "I'm sorry about Jeff, please tell then Cal, I'm so sorry".

Cal held his hand and smoothed some hair away from Ethan's eyes before saying "Sshh just sleep" Cal was a little concerned to why Ethan would tell him he was sorry but put a lot of it down to the fever. He knew that Ethan would sleep for a while so he decided to pop down stairs and see Connie to get a few hours off to be with Ethan and get some coffee he had a feeling today was going to be a long day.

Connie after taking one look at Cal told him he was to take a few days off and that although Ethan needed him to ensure he got some rest too. Cal assured her he would before speaking to a few others and heading to get some coffee he had just paid when he was paged from Ethan's ward asking him to go to Ethan's room.

Cal took the stairs 2 at a time and was on Ethan's ward within seconds and was met with his nurse who held a hand up to him "Don't panic Cal, he just woke up and his fever seems a lot higher he got a little upset and was asking for you he seems to be hallucinating so we paged you" Cal nodded and smiled before talking "he seeing green men?" the nurse smiled before gesturing that Cal go in.

Cal opened the door and Ethan looked at him before speaking "hey Cal, you look tired, you should really get some sleep, I just had a visitor Jeff wasn't that nice of him" Cal stopped dead in his tracks and looked at the nurse who nodded sadly Cal shoulders slumped before he went closer to Ethan "hey kid, how you feeling?" Ethan spoke and Cal noticed his voice was very raspy "I'm ok I'm hot though" Ethan went to kick the blanket it off him and Cal stopped him "Hey, you need to leave that on for me ok?" Ethan sighed but nodded and Cal took a seat in next to Ethan and began to speak "Ethan do you know where you are?" Ethan shrugged and Cal switched tactics knowing that contradicting Ethan on his 'visitor' would just distress him, whenever he was ill when he was younger he was known to hallucinate. Cal placed a gentle hand on Ethan's chest being careful of the bruising there and spoke "How about you lay down for me and try and get some rest and I'll be right here when you wake up ok" Ethan who was being lulled by Cal's soft voice laid back eyes closing before his head landed on the soft pillow and Cal leant forward and whispered "night kiddo, sweet dreams" before placing a gently kiss to his forehead.

Cal was getting settled in the chair when the nurse came back handing him a blanket and a pillow she drew the blinds around the room "try and get some sleep Dr Knight, you'll be no good to him if you're exhausted" Cal smiled his thanks and got comfy in the chair and was asleep within minutes.

Cal woke up to much clearer Ethan although he was miserable from the news about Jeff and withdrew a little answering Cal in one word answers after 30o minutes of this Cal sighed before saying "Ethan please don't shut me out I know it's hard we will all miss Jeff he was one of a kind, but we have to get through this together" Ethan looked at Cal with hurt eyes before answering "I was driving, if I hadn't crashed Jeff would still be alive, everyone will blame me" suddenly Cal got why Ethan had apologized to him earlier and when he looked at Ethan now he didn't see his brother the doctor he saw his little brother the one who still believed that Cal could fix anything he sat up on the bed and pulled Ethan into a tight hug being careful of his injuries he began to stroke Ethan's hair and spoke firmly "Ethan what happened was in no way your fault, you were side swiped no driver in the world could have prevented it, no-one blames you and no-one should it was an accident, nobody expected the car to explode it was unfortunate but you are in no way to blame for this I promise you" Ethan cried harder and Cal knowing this was grief and not fever making his brother cry soothed him and sat with him until he composed himself.

Ethan his body still weak from the accident eventually fell asleep in Cal's arms exhausted form the events of the past 2 days and Cal gently laid him against the bed before covering him with the blankets. He then sat down and out his head in his hands and silently cried allowing himself a moment to grieve for their fallen friend. Today they had got through it together, Cal just hoped that in the coming week Ethan would continue to get better and open up to him, he also hoped for a slight miracle to make Ethan strong enough to attend the funeral knowing his brother needed the closure and not looking forward to having to deny him that if he wasn't. Cal sighed before getting as comfy as he could ready to spend the night with Ethan. After all his brother had asked him to stay so he wasn't going anywhere.

**Thanks for reading guys, hope you enjoyed and keep tuned to see if cal's miracle request is answered.**

**Thanks for reviews on all my stories it really does mean a lot to me **

**xx**


	3. The Funeral

**Hey guys, thank you for your patience for this chapter sorry it took so long. Hope it was worth wait.**

**Chapter 3 – The Funeral**

Cal's prayers had not been answered, what with the fever knocking Ethan's recovery back there was no way he was strong enough to attend.

Cal himself was unable to go due to no one being able to cover his shift, he and Dr Chao were asked to stay behind and hold the fort.

Cal stood outside Ethan's door readying himself for a fight as he was going to tell Ethan under no circumstance was he going to the funeral, he just wasn't strong enough.

Cal took a deep breath and opened the door, Ethan smiled up at him wincing slightly as he moved, Cal spoke "Morning sunshine"

He stopped when he realized that Ethan was once again watching the video of the explosion in you tube, again.

"Ethan, kid, you need to read a book or watch a box set or something, because this, this is not healthy and it's not helping you"

Ethan shrugged before answering "Why would someone film that knowing he was still in there, I just don't get it"

He sniffed looking up and Cal and asking "So have you brought my suit?"

Cal closed his eyes before sitting on the side of Ethan bed and talking

"Ethan you're not well enough to go, I doubt you could stand for more than 5 minutes let alone walk, and I can't get the time off I have to cover here, so I can't even take you, I'm really sorry Ethan but you can't go, you're health is more important"

Ethan hung his head whispering "I need to go Cal, please"

Cal shook his head "listen I have to get down there I have patient to see, but if you need me let me know ok"

Ethan nodded and smiled as lofty entered as Cal was leaving.

Cal couldn't concentrate he, he wanted to be upstairs with his brother not down here treating patients that didn't want to be treated. He was lucky Ash called in and spotted a simple diagnosis which had he been on his A game instead of worrying about Ethan he would have spotted.

He walked in to Ethan's room in between patients and stopped, Ethan was nowhere to be seen.

After having a rant at the nurses on the ward who all swore they saw nothing he marched to the ED department cornering Lofty and shouted "What was in the bag you gave to my brother"

Lofty feeling hot under the collar swallowed and answered "A black suit, he asked me to pick it up for him"

Cal nodded "Lofty you're an idiot, he has just been in a serious accident, an accident that he was very lucky to survive, do you seriously think he is fit enough for a funeral"

Lofty looked to the ground and Cal walked off, trying not to panic he knew he couldn't leave the hospital until the shift was over, he just hoped Ethan would be ok.

After an hour of trying to get through to Ethan on the phone Cal was going out of his mind with worry and Dr Chao and Lofty although trying to keep him calm had had enough.

Dr Chao snapped "Cal, you can't do both"

Cal looked up from his phone frowning and muttered "What"

Lofty answered "You can't take care of your brother and the patients here Cal"

Just as Cal was going to answer Tess spoke from behind "let's get him seen too"

Cal turned and run when he saw how pale his brother looked though he was walking which was a good sign, Cal began to shout out directions to Lilly, who for once stayed quiet and watched as Cal gently led his brother into re-sus.

Once his Ethan was sitting comfortably on the side of the bed Cal looked at him and shook his head fighting down the anger and worry and trying hard not shout at Ethan who was visibly upset but not yet crying.

Cal was kneeling on the floor bringing himself level with Ethan's chest so he could check under the dressing when Dr Chao came in and Cal was a little surprised but let her continue to berate Ethan for his Stupidity at leaving the hospital

"I thought you had more brains than that, do you know how far you've set you recovery back Ethan, Do you, or how much Cal was worrying and me, huh or you just didn't care, of all the selfish, stupid things to do this takes the prize Ethan Hardy"

Cal who was checking the wound and was relieved when there didn't seem to be any further damage looked up when he felt something drop onto his hand and sighed looking up to see Tears cascading down Ethan's face, he tried to make eye contact with the younger man before speaking to Lilly

"Lilly that's enough, can you go and sort out an ECG so that we can rule out any damage, though I think he was lucky this time"

Lilly huffed as she was cut off mid-sentence but one look at Ethan's face and she did seem to look sorry, she heeded Cal's word and went to arrange an ECG.

When she left Cal took a seat by Ethan and brought his arms around him Ethan not being able to stop the tears hid his face from his colleagues by burying it in Cal's shoulder, he whispered to Cal

"I just needed to pay my respects, I needed to say goodbye"

Cal placed his chin on Top of Ethan's head and Ethan felt the nod before his brother spoke again

"she was just worried Ethan, we all were, just because we'd figured out where you'd gone didn't make it any easier, don't get yourself worked up, you're ok and Lilly will calm down"

Ethan sniffed before answering "I didn't mean to worry you, I just needed to be there, I needed to say sorry"

Cal sighed and looked at his colleagues he spoke to Lofty "Lofty can you tell Dr Chao not to bother with the ECG, I'm just going to take him back to his room" he pointedly looked at the remaining staff members who all got the look and emptied the room, leaving just Cal and Ethan

Cal tightened his hold on Ethan and spoke, Ethan jumped at the tone as it was a no nonsense, you better listen to me tone

"Ethan I am going to say this one more time, you are in no way to blame for this accident, or Jeff's death, you have got to stop blaming yourself, I don't know how many more ways I can say it"

Ethan sniffed "I just want to go to sleep can you take me to my room please"

Cal sighed torn between making Ethan understand that this wasn't his fault or letting Ethan sleep, he took a look at the younger man's face and decided to leave it for now Ethan needed to sleep and he knew that Ethan needed to be fully away for the logic to sink in his head.

Cal had already helped Ethan change and get comfortable in bed when Lilly Chao walked in with some food and a cup of tea for Ethan, Cal was about to speak Ethan beat him to it

"Lilly I know why you're really angry at me and it's ok, I blame me to"

Lilly taking note of Cal's shaking head sighed before saying "Ethan you are an idiot who can't see what's in front of him" she then stormed out of the room

Cal turned to leave knowing that Ethan wanted to sleep, but a small voice called him back

"Cal please stay, with me at least until I fall asleep" Cal nodded taking his place by the bed.

Ethan was a sleep within minutes, leaving Cal to think over the events of the day, coming up with a plan on how to make his little brother realize the accident was not his fault.

He kept his word and stayed all night and when Ethan woke after a nightmare it was Cal who calmed him down and soothed him back to sleep, Cal who was there in the morning when an irritable Ethan woke up and Cal who realized he needed to take drastic action to get Ethan out of this mood, he nodded to himself firmly accepting the challenge, before leaving a sleeping Ethan to start his shift.


	4. Blame and panic

**Chapter 4 – blame and panic**

**Wow really sorry about the delay in updated this story I kind of got sidetracked by all the amazing stories that have been written about our favorite doctors. Thanks again for the reviews they really make me happy. Hope you enjoy this chapter xx**

When Ethan woke up the next morning Cal was gone and for a moment he began to panic, where was Cal and why would he leave him, he promised him he would stay.

His breathing picked up and he spun round when he heard movement in the room he settled and tried to calm his breathing when he saw Dixie sitting in the seat Cal was supposed to be, she was sleeping and Ethan was unsure what to do

Why was she here, was she here to tell him that she blamed him for Jeff's death, or yell at him, all of this was going through his mind and his breathing was getting worse he reached to where Cal had placed his asthma pumps on the side table and grappled around until he found them he was about to take a puff when the doors opened and Cal carrying coffee entered seeing Ethan's slightly panicked state he placed the coffee on the tray table and sat on the bed before speaking

"Hey, you ok?"

Ethan struggling to get oxygen in shook his head and Cal laid him back on the bed and gently placed the oxygen mask over his face speaking to him in a calming voice

"Relax Ethan, you're ok, sorry I wasn't here when you woke, I thought you'd be out for a while longer, just relax now"

When Cal was satisfied that Ethan's breathing was getting easier he leant back and smiled as he saw Dixie looking at them, she smiled back before gesturing for Cal to wait outside.

Cal turned to Ethan and spoke

"Ethan, Dixie wants to have a word with you ok, I'm going to go speak to the ward sister to see about you getting discharged in a day or two ok"

Ethan nodded slowly, knowing that Cal wouldn't let her be with him if she was going to shout, had relaxed him a little.

When Cal had left Dixie spoke

"Your brother really cares about you Ethan, he's gone out of his mind with worry the last week"

Ethan nodded and answered "I know, he's been brilliant"

Dixie nodded before speaking again and taking a seat next to Ethan on the bed

"Cal told me that you blame yourself for Jeff because you driving, is that right Ethan?"

Ethan looked down at the blankets on the bed but nodded before speaking

"If someone else had been driving they could have controlled the car…."

Dixie stops him

"Ethan no one could have gotten out of that, and I know Cal has told you this, but I want you to know that I don't blame you and no one does, you have to get passed this, but I promise you kid, it wasn't your fault, Jeff wouldn't want you to blame yourself"

Ethan nodded and Cal walked back in and smiled Dixie moved off the bed and gave Cal a hug on the way out

"I did my best the rest is up to you" Cal nodded

Once Dixie had left Ethan looked up at Cal, tears in his eyes and asked in a broken voice

"It really wasn't my fault?"

Cal sighed and sat next to Ethan putting an arm around his shoulders

"No Ethan it wasn't, there was nothing anyone could have done, nobody blames you I promise, and Dixie is just glad that you lived, and Jeff would be too, he risked his life to save you Ethan, don't waste it feeling guilty"

Ethan nodded and hid his face in Cal's shoulder when his doctor walked in, Cal gave him a moment to compose himself and held his hand up to the doctor who nodded in silence.

After a minute Ethan had himself under control and looked up, not moving out from under Cal's arm still needing the comfort it provided, he nodded at Cal and Cal looked at the doctor expectantly

He smiled at them before speaking

"ok, Dr Hardy, it would seem you have had enough of our hospitality, so how about a final check and if everything is where it's supposed to be we'll discharge you, only if you promise to have a few days rest at home and have your brother here wait on you"

Ethan smiled nodding enthusiastically and looked at Cal for confirmation

Cal laughed at the excited look on Ethan's face and answered the Doctor

"No problem trust me he won't be doing anything other than watching daytime TV and sleeping for a while"

He glanced up at the doctor who laughed and nodded as he left

Cal looked at Ethan and spoke "you ok?" when Ethan nodded and smiled Cal continued

"ok so I got to go finish my shift, you get yourself ready, slowly and I'll come get you after shift, I'll pop up on break later ok"

Ethan nodded and grabbed Cal's hand as he got up Cal turned and frowned at Ethan before Ethan spoke

"Thanks, for everything, thank you for talking to Dixie, for saving my life and well for being my big brother, Thank you, and I know it can't have been easy for you"

Cal could see Ethan beginning to get upset and sat back down before saying

"Ethan, stop you don't need to thank me, I'm your brother and I love you, and as your brother I do hold the right to kill you myself if you ever pull stunt like that again got it"

Ethan nodded adding "I'll try not to die Cal" Cal laughed and left Ethan to gather his things and get dressed.

All day Cal's mind was on Ethan and his impending release. Everyone asking how Ethan was and having to smile and nod and Say "yeah he's great" was taking its toll on him.

As a brother Cal was happy Ethan was going home, As Ethan's primary care giver and still holding down the hours in ED he'd have his work cut out for him. He just hoped Ethan was coping as well as he'd have Cal believe.

**After shift**

Cal went upstairs to collect Ethan from the ward, he picked up Ethan's bag and the walked slowly out of the hospital to the waiting Taxi and Cal opened the door for Ethan to climb in before placing the bag in and climbing in himself.

Cal gave the cab driver their address and leant back smiling as he saw Ethan relax into the seat.

A short while later Cal was making idle talk when he noticed a change in Ethan's breathing. He turned to face him and was shocked to see the pale. Sweating face of Ethan he spoke gently

"Ethan are you ok, are you hurting"

Ethan focused on Cal's voice and shook his head before answering

"Car, I need to get out of this car Cal, please"

The words hit Cal like a freight train and he managed to turn to the driver and asked to stop. Ethan was out of the car before it came to a complete stop and once outside his legs turned to jelly and he stumbled to a nearby bench.

Cal after throwing money at the driver exited after him and was by his side in an instant

"Ethan talk to me, do we need to go back to the hospital?"

Ethan looked up at Cal with panic in his eyes and Cal followed his eyes to take in the traffic, when his breathing was dangerously close to hyperventilating Cal grabbed his hand and placed it on his chest allowing Ethan to sync his breathing with his own. He spoke gently to him

"that's it , just breath in and out, you can do this" after 2 minutes Ethan had his breathing under control and Cal moved them from the wall onto a nearby bench allowing Ethan to compose himself before he spoke

"So I'm guessing we're walking back then?"

Ethan gave him a watery smile before nodding and Cal slung an arm around his shoulder

"Eth, I'd be more concerned if you didn't show panic about getting in a car after the accident, panic attacks happen, the smallest thing can set them off, and after what you went through, it's not unsurprising"

"How about we go home, order in some food and tomorrow we'll try again, ill drive how's that sound"

Ethan nodded before standing and Cal followed picking up his bag and talking about anything and everything, he soon had Ethan laughing.

Tomorrow was a new day and hopefully this panic attack was a onetime thing, Cal hoped so as Ethan hated showing weakness and this would really damage his self-esteem, Cal had seen the weaker side to his brother after the accident, the side that still needed his big brother, but he also knew that Ethan would hate people to see him as weak, he vowed to himself to help Ethan work through this no matter how long it took.

**Hope you enjoyed please R&R xx**


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